How To Handle Divorced Parents On YOUR Wedding Day

After months of planning your wedding is finally here.  The venue (at the Black Horse Inn of course) (smile) is beautifully decorated and everyone is dressed and ready to walk down the aisle..then walks in your Mom and her new husband who lock eyes with your Dad.  It’s the moment you’ve dreaded since you told your divorced parents about your engagement.  Now starts the arguing.  Is that your worse nightmare?  It is for the characters in the new blockbuster, “The Big Wedding” starring Robert DeNiro, Katherine Heigl, and Diane Keaton.


The Big Wedding starring Robert DeNiro and Diane Keaton

How do you handle parents at your wedding who are divorced and can’t stand to be in the same room together?  Where do you sit them? Who stands by whom during family photos?   How are the traditional family dances held?  These are questions that always go through a newly engaged persons mind who has divorced parents.

Since we’ve dealt with these issues here at the Black Horse Inn, we thought that it would be appropo to discuss the solutions to this ever rising problem:

  • Discuss photos in advance – When everyone is on the same page and know what to expect when it comes to family photos then the shoot should run smoothly.  Request that each person act like an adult and to remember that this is your moment and not to ruin it for you.  If they love you, they’ll respect you too.
  • Discuss well in advance who is on your guest list – The longer period of time your parents have to adjust to the people they’ll see at your wedding the better.  They will have time to figure out what kind thing they’ll say and do when confronted with someone they otherwise don’t care for.
  • Avoid allowing boycots or threats to ruin your day – Sometimes family members (and friends) will tell you that they won’t come to your wedding if “so and so” is going to be there.  Kindly tell them, “I’m sorry to hear that but they will be there.  If you choose not to come I understand.”  Don’t let their immaturity effect who you invite.  Most of the time these threats aren’t followed through but you’ll be happy that you stood your ground.
  • Tell vendors about potential drama – When your vendors know what may go down in amongst your guests they’ll be ready to address a situation if it arises.  For example, if your photographer knows who shouldn’t stand by whom then they’ll make sure to keep them far away from each other during a shot.  And if you’re DJ knows that your parents are divorced and can’t stand to be in the same room together then they won’t ask them to dance.

If this is you, take heed that we have seen it all and can help make sure this day is perfect for you.  We have little tricks of the trade up our sleeves so give us a call and let’s talk about your wedding.


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